The bfn aftermath

Since the bfn blood test result, i have been coping pretty ok. With a 'just get over it and move on' attitude. There are moments, where i am alone and quiet, that's when i feel kinda sad and disappointed. I wish it was a bfp, really still do.. even right at this moment.. hidden somewhere deep down... i still hope against hope that my menses wont come and i get a 'fall off the chair' news of a bfp. Well, the chances of that happening would probably be in the range of 0.0001 %

Anyway, i want to look forward. i am an ivf survivor. IVF is not about self pity-ness, its about an opportunity to have a Baby. Then again, i am only me, i do dable in this self pity thing quite often lately with the bfn.

( serenity of changi road )

Yesterday, hubby and i celebrated my birthday over dinner at porta porta, an Italian restaurant along changi road, eastern part of Singapore, 5 mins drive from my home.He gave me flowers and a necklace from Tiffany & Co.

Amongst the things we spoke about.. ivf was one of them. He wanted the next round to be the absolute last round of ivf, i said i wouldn't want to stop until i am done trying to have a 2nd child. He agreed to be supportive of my decision.

This is what he wrote to me in the card

' Happy birthday. You are truly the love of my life. I appreciate all that you have done for our family, your endless sacrifices, patience and abundant love. May this birthday bring a new perspective and may we journey together along a path laid by God.'

i appreciate it.