My blog has a new look!

I gave my blog a new look. I hope you like it as much as I do. It got a fresher, sweeter, brighter look than the previous dark blue one. I hope the cheery template will brighten your day too.
I did pull a few hairs trying to get it all working correctly. :) Do drop me a message or 2 to let me know I haven't dropped off your radar. :)

I am 6 weeks pregnant today. I am feeling good today and am looking forward to seeing my baby's heartbeat on scan screen soon.

Some early pregnancy symptoms I encountered so far are:
1. Fatigue! I am comatose by 10pm each night.
2. Restless nights; i wake up to pee, i wake up at the sound of my dog's snoring (btw, my dog snores loudly), I wake up at 5am and watch tv to coax myself to sleep again.
3. My pee stinks
4. My gum bleeds when i brush
5. I get hungry very easily and when im hungry i feel uncomfortable.
6. I am alot more emotional lately

baby boy or baby girl better?

I was browsing the singaporemotherhood forum yesterday and i came across a very disturbing entry. Its about this first time mom who remarked that she cried for days when she discovered she was carrying a girl fetus. Her baby is 5 months old now and she said in her entry that she cant love the baby much because of the baby's gender. This entry is written in 2008 by a modern city lady of an unknown race. I felt so disturbed after reading it. I begin to ask myself if somehow she has been conditioned by remarks made by family or friends that a boy child is better than a girl child. Isnt it a mother's duty and nature to love the child regardless of gender?

I need to relate my own personal true experience to you with regards to my first child. When i was pregnant with my first child back in 2005/2006, after all the IVF challenges has settled with a bfp and the 1st trimester went by smoothly.. I began to ponder what sex of a child i would prefer. My family and relatives and even strangers would remark i should have a boy and how its important to have a boy. To be really honest, I felt quite pressurised by these remarks made and I thought to myself maybe its better to have a son and that a son is a better choice.

My husband in fact was the one that was completely unaffected by other's remarks.. and said wholeheartedly that he will really be very happy having a son or a daughter.

During my scan to find out the baby's sex, when i was told i am expecting a girl. I am happy but my happiness was stained with fear that i have somewhat disappointed the old folks of my family. But very quickly within the next few hours, i am already falling in love with my unborn daughter and thought of millions of reasons to myself how in fact... i love having a girl. Like dressing her up, etc.. I love my daughter so much i would give up my life for her now. And i thank God for giving me such a wonderful perfect gift for me. Btw, my fears were uncalled for,my daughter is well loved by the grandparents on both side.

Having said that, I continue to encounter sexual discrimination of my next child's gender. I will still get occasional remark from strangers that i should have a son next. It still put me in an awkward position hearing such lame remarks.

I owe it to my unborn child that I will completely ignore such remarks and will not subject myself to the pressure of gender preference. After going through this much to have a pregnancy, it will be darn stupid and silly and ungrateful of me to not guard my mind towards lame remarks of people who are close or not to me. I dont see why a girl is more inferior than a boy. I dont see why anyone should encourage such a discriminating thought.

So, I am writing this down right now. I will be equally happy.. Really happy .. to have a healthy girl or a healthy boy... and the gift of child will be perfect as it is.

Some thoughts to share

Was browsing the internet when i came across this statement that i find meaningful

"There is no greater strength on earth than a heart's will to persevere"


Here is a great site that showcase unairbrushed real shapes of a mother...
Interesting and worth a visit! .. http://theshapeofamother.com/

feeling so tired today

Its 1.30pm today and i just finished my lunch. I ate wanton noodles and a slice of swiss roll. Feeling really tired now, falling a sleep... dozing. dozzing.. zzzzzzzzzzzz

If beta doubles up nicely, my beta level should be in the thousands now. I am so looking forward to my 6 weeks scan scheduled on the coming tuesday. 7 more days and counting now..

Its public holiday today. Its deepavali, indian's new year celebration.
I found this great pregnancy calendar that helps to keep track of pregnancy progress.
Love it..http://www.ehd.org/pregnancy-calendar.php?id=8837

Saturday's meal
-nonya dumpling for breakfast
-gingko barley drink
-chicken porridge x 2 bowls
-dinner at ponggol choon seng at changi
rice
red wine ribs
crispy duck wrap
mee hoon
veg
tofu

Sunday's meal
- 2 slices of wholemeal toast with jam for breakfast
- tim sum + nasi briyani (shared) at vivocity for lunch
- mum's homecooked food
rice
soup
veg
braised pork
curry fish

A previous miscarriage ( over a year ago)

I feel like talking about my previous miscarriage ordeal today. So that you can understand how anyone who been through a miscarriage will feel when they are pregnant again, especially during the 1st trimester. and every moment of a smooth pregnancy is truly a blessed moment itself.

In mid 2007. When i felt ready for IVF again after my girl was 1yr plus, I got a positive which ended in a miscarriage. It happened around the middle of 5th week of pregnancy. I started bleeding, it started with light bleeding which quickly progress to heavy bleeding with clots and cramps. I bedrested for an entire week during the bleeding, only to get up to go to A&E to do scans and were given progesterone injections. After one week of heavy bleeding, the verdict was gloomy... The sac was almost coming out and my cervix was dilated, that fateful night, while i was showering... a big reddish whitish clot in the size of a ping pong ball flowed out of me.. and landed on the floor. I miscarried. I cried my heart out.. The trauma of a miscarriage is very real and very painful and is stuck in my mind forever.

Right now, I am on my 5th week of pregnancy. I am so very scared for reasons you can understand why. I am obsessively checking my panties for any sign of blood stains, and i feel a great sense of relief each time i see clear.

God,please let my pregnancy be a smooth successful one this time, protect my unborn child from any harm, bless the unborn child with health and growth.