It got to be the progesterone, it have to be the progesterone. i tell you why i said that. A moment ago, onto my 4th day of resting at home during my 2ww. I decided to watch this movie titled "Into the Wild". It sounds like a adventure show isnt it? Well it is, but it contains alot of depth in it , exploring the complexity of society's life and how one young man refuse to be conform by it and choose to live in the wild after his graduation. It tells a story of his journey and the people he met and how his life ended up... well i wont say too much in case you plan to watch it. At the end of the show ... i couldnt stop crying for a good 10 minutes. Its a touching and lovely movie. Its one of my favourite now. I suggest you dont watch it now if you are in your 2ww or else you may end up like me.... all progesterone fueled teary mess.
The matter of fact is, I suspect its not just the sad movie and the progesterone thats making me emotional. Its the fact that I have alot at stake to get this BFP in roughly 9 days time. After 1 miscarriage and 2 bfn in a row.... I am terrified ... I am terrified of another bfn. If there is a way of ensuring a bfp now, I may just do it. If eating a tubful of dreadful wasabi will give me a guaranteed bfp. I will.
Sorry to be so negative here. I shall get a grip of myself. Take a deep breathe, take a deep breathe... ooooooooo hooooooo. Ok I gotten a grip. I have to be courageous and be positive, it does not cost a dime to be positive. I shall embrace the freedom of positiveness.
My embies are in their blastocyst stage now. Anytime in the next day or 2, they will be implanting. About hpt (home pregnancy tests sticks). I target to start hpt on 12dp2dt, knowing me, i will probably be doing it in the late night of 11dp2dt.
Tintedsky, i (akachan here) read your blog almost everyday cos it brings comfort to me that we are going thru something similar so you probably know exactly how i feel.
ReplyDeleteAnd, you articulated my exact thoughts and wishes to our Heavenly Father. At times i dont know how to pray to God but when i see your faith and strength, i can pray. Hope God hears us and spare our hearts from being broken again and grant us alittle blessing of having a child.
I think i can test on HPT in 3 days time but i dare not. Shall just believe God has granted my wish and wait till BT maybe. I am scared, i feel so well now as if never did ER, ET etc ... In every cycle, there are always some who succeed and some wo dont.. i scared i m the jinxed one, the one who failed. Hai.. i must muster up courage and have faith. U too. Lets JY!! :)
akachan...i feel you. hugssss!!!!
ReplyDeleteLets continue praying to Jesus that He will grant us our heart's desire and let this be the right timing for his perfect gift.